Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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