I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
