Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
