Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
