im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
