so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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