Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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