so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
