Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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