Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
