Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
