Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
