Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
