Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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