Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
