When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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