I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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