alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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