Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
