You smell like a Billy Joel song
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
