And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We are two peas in an std pod
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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