Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
