Got a toothbrush?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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