Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
