two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
