TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
