Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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