He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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