she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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