Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
