when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
