just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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