what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
