my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
