I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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