She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
