she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He shit in the fireplace
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
