help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
