I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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