Where are you?
In a non slutty way
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
