Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm like, not good at living.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
