I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
