around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
