her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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