I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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