Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
