she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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