some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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