you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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