I faked an abortion last night.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
