Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
